Changing...

My views on life is changing. Even me as a person is evolving into the mature mind of the adult life. I am not a college student anymore, ever evolving me has suddenly felt comfortable in my own skin and is sinking in comfortably into it. A few things that have changed:

Relationship: I'm ready for that one guy to come into my life and make a big but very good difference. Because one day..drum rolls please..I would want kids. Yup ever so long have I hated babies, but now I am contemplating about having one. Not in the near close present, but far out there in the future.

Career: I've decided that I want out of this corporate world and will work hard for 3 years and save up to become an entrepreneur. I have 3 years to decide what I would want to open. I will have ideas!

Friends: I have and like the friends I have right now. Their part of what makes me happy everyday. Without them I don't know what I would do.


I stopped wanting luxurious items ( always want, but knows whats best if I want to be rich)
I am finding ways to save money. I do not want to be a 30,000 millionaire. Spend what I have not what I don't have. My finance is being closely watched now than before. I'm trying to live with what I have now and not always wanting to buy. Its such a hard thing to do for this USE to be shopaholic gal. I did good my friends. Just know you will be seeing repeated outfit choices. :)

again...

I prepare the idea and thought, yet something unexpected happens. Always mentally tell myself i'm ready and then something like that happens to me. What the f. BLah.

....

Lately I feel death has come upon me. Maybe it is reading about all these horror stories. But I feel the need to spend some time with my family before my time is up. It could be tomorrow or who knows. I find it sad that some of the family members don't make an effort to try to hang out with their childhood families. It breaks my heart and i'm so tired of caring. Has our lives change this much for family like us to back stab each other and leave us hanging dry. You post shit up saying you know who your true friends are when they stick to the end? Ever think how we stood til the end watching you screw over family and yet act like you did nothing wrong? where has your family value gone?
so fucking unethical. You stand there and act like we are some fucked up people in your life, yet we saved you from your mistakes.

Think twice what you have done, because you hurt me. Do i need to yell out on the top of the lungs to tell you? i think not. I can just watch you from afar and til this day you would have never known. What difference would it have made. Isn't twice the mistake enough of thousands of dollars?

You stand there and act like family fucking matters.

Yea, I count the small stuff.

YEA, i'm fucking dramatic.


deal with it. I'm over our situation and so called family blood line.

Commitment

I went to hot springs this weekend with Nina, Khanh, and Marie. On our way there we saw 3 deers cross our path and a dog. We stayed at the Hot Springs Resort and wow was it such a pleasant place to relax to get away from the city. The next day we rode on horses and enjoyed the downtown area. We tried the Bath Houses which was ancient looking. Literally I felt like a ghost was coming to get me. I don't know why I was thinking that, but I was.

Anyhow...
Lately the question I am coming across everyday from someone is "Do you have a boyfriend?" I have no idea why this is bothering me, but can't a girl love being single? I love my life. I like the fact that I don't have to worry about another person at this time of my life. I'm concentrating on my career and taking care of myself. I want time for me. ME. Me. Me. Oh how I love me.
My friends said its good that I live this life, but one day i'll have to prepare to commit to someone. Although I have been on this path before, but I'm just not ready.
Let me tell you something I have yet to tell anyone. A name will never be mention, so I hope if I read this in the future I will remember whom I am talking about. I know someone that I speak to randomly is the perfect person for me right now. I don't want to take it another step because i'm not ready. I'm taking a step back while he takes many many steps forward.

Ahh...so many things I have to express. I suppose I will continue tomorrow. My right arm is hurting me right now. Til then here are some eye candy.

Live life with love

I had company today with one of my close girlfriend. I haven't seen her in 3 months or so due to her busy schedule. I really care for her to where I never want to see her hurt. Sometimes you questions the things that you have encountered and ponder should you tell your best friend who should or shouldn't know. Ever wonder that sometimes its best not to know too much? I've learned along the way that there are just some information that shouldn't be said to with hold some emotions that aren't ment to have from refraining to move forward with life.
Lets just say my close friend has heard and digged information she wishes she learned from the beggining and to not even know at all. Will today make your tomorrow or future change for the better? Will you soak yourself in sorrow until you reached to the point your finally willing to see from what everyone else has seen? I hope you find the answer your searching or wanting. I hope the information I have told you doesn't effect our friendship. Also if you are reading this, I love you.

"its life, live it"

I got to thinking, how a woman's life is surrounded by thoughts of marriage and finding the one. Maybe all women don't think like this but the path finds us gearing towards that direction. For my friends that haven't been married quite yet have been pounding or hoping their boyfriend would "put a ring on it." Then there are the ones that question "is he the one." Fighting to keep the companionship together, worry because we are going to be alone, or better yet settle to just settle. As a kid I never thought about marriage. Not once. Up until, one by one my friends I hear are engaged. Attending their wedding and seeing that their boyfriend who became fiance is now a Husband. Of course then did I think about marriage. I hear the good and bad of being in a relationship. Sometimes I wonder...what is marriage? I know a few people who end up in divorces, but it doesn't prevent me from being in one. I started to think what I define marriage as.
1. My sarcastic jokingly definition:
Marriage: Paper document where both party sign and have the law acknowledge their love through penmenship. Oh and another way to say we want to spend XXX amount to tell the whole world WE FOUND LOVE! Having our proud parents show off to their friends that their kid is happy!

2. My true thought of marriage: Putting a ring on a finger stating: BACK THE FUCK OFF

ok ok...TRUTH BE TOLD:

Ahem* It is companionship, finding the person you want to spend your whole life with. May it be him/her in the shower while you be on the toilet taking a dump. The person who would want to make you wake up with a smile on your face. A person you want to say I risked my body to have this child with him.

I don't believe that a paper document is necessary, but double income is great and whatever else benefits from being two instead of one.


I believe in companionship. I don't believe there is the one. I believe there is that person you want to spend your life with. Does that make any sense?

Anyhow that enough about marriage. I'm over the whole MY FRIENDS ARE GONE stage. I now accept the change and is of course happy. May the memories of my single girlfriends be a memory and enter a new memories of marriage and babies.

I still...

Don't understand the thought of a broken heart. I have a dear family of mine who currently is still with her boyfriend whom may I say cheated on her 3 times. Of the 3 times it was with her best friend. She told me that she didn't want to be back with him and that it is best that I remind her of how gush awful person he is. I called her everyday to see if she's ok. If she needed to vent. If she ever needed anything from me because I wanted to be there for her as family. Calls turned into missed called to ignoring me to never returning them back. This was a family member who I call everyday to never hearing from her again. I am very disturbed at this matter, but I refuse to call her again or hear what she has to say.
My question is to her How can you let this person who broke your heart and ruin your life get in between us? That's a shame.

I write this memory down to move forward with my life and the thought of my relationship with her. Some of you may have different thoughts of this, but as you get older you don't linger on to situations like this. I would rather put it behind me and make room for good memories.

Hello

world. Are you out there?

4.5.6.7

Those numbers are the waking hours I have at night. Although I would go into more details about this situation, but I just wanted to inform my small readers i'm thinking about living life again. Meaning I have lived the length of my life and now doing the width.


To be continue...

..rewind lets live

..again when I was only 18. Sneaking into 21+ clubs and going to rave's when it was cool in those time. Live in danger, get through as if I succeed successfully in life.
HAHA...when living wild and free was so liberating. Not a care in the world, except to spend your parents money on useless enjoyment that made you feel GREATNESS.

Now that i'm an adult, I can't keep doing HH. It gives me a headache like a sign of aging. I wake up with a massive headache (not due to over drinking) screeching at me OLD AGE OLD AGE!!!

I wish I had good Friday off, but since my great job loves my commitment I will have to endure myself to what we all say when we are a proud adult..work.

....

Sometimes it's just easier to say goodbye. If its worth to keep, hold on to it with your hands so tight that no one could pull you away from it. But there is so much grip you can have to hang on. I chose to set my hands free and gave it some room to breath. Because in the end you forget to realize that if it was worth to keep there wouldn't be a need to hang on so tightly because what you have would never leave you.

Goal #1

Daily Activities is boring me. Work, gym, t.v, and sleep. What a boring daily grind I have. I need to mix it up with something new. Get myself interested in life. I sit at work day dreaming what I would be doing if I didn't have a job.

Until I find something interesting to tell you I will be...
Hibernating until I feel the need to be back into the life of living.

That sounded so depressing. Ok let me rephrase this. HIBERNATING until something interesting happens to me. Maybe I should start goals. Goals are good.

Goal number 1. Wake up at 5 am in the morning to do yoga or hit the gym. This is a struggle for me. A very very long time struggle. Lets see how long this will last. I would like to do this until the end of the year. WISH ME LUCK!

Now I know...

Where my food comes from. Watched Food Inc today and feel mortified about eating cows. The way they take care of the cows! ESPECIALLY CHICKEN! Zap those chicks like nothing. Even some of the chickens don't see day light :( Going organic all the way. I think everyone should watched this movie. Seriously you won't even want to shop at Walmart ever again for your food. Everything is processed. People complain why America is fat, well let me tell you why! Our food is engineered. URgh. Watch the movie. This discussion can go on forever. Oh by the way..

by
the
way

A 2 year old died from eating 3 hamburgers. The meat at JACK IN THE BOX had ECOLI

Stamps

Do people ever mail things anymore? Not your typical I ordered this online or i'm sending a bill. Less people take the initiative to put effort into writing a letter. Literally everything is virtual, but that is awesome. Whats even more awesome is receiving a letter. Recently I have been writing to a friend who is currently in jail. I'm so shocked at what a letter can do to a person. People in jail appreciate letters more so then those who aren't. I should start sending letters for fun.

Random thought for the night. G.night world.

K.O

I've been anticipating this past weekend because my eyes healed from surgery. Which means I can wear makeup and go out! Short story, but very true in each word I chose to describe my weekend.
Friday: BLACK OUT! Drank with coworkers at 6 pm, meet a buddy @ blue fish, and celebrated friends bday at Deux. I kept taking shot after shots and didn't realize how much I have been drinking. Let me tell you the last part I do remember from what I can remember was me being at the bar taking a shot. I woke up the next morning not knowing where I was at! I felt completely lost and woke up listening to Time Travelers Wife.
I threw up saturday morning and to me it felt like forever. Just chunks and chunks of throwing up coming down the side of my friends car. This was right before we enter the flea market. I recovered by 7 pm. I realized today that my body is sore from throwing up religiously from Saturday morning. Ok I exaggerate, but its sore from throwing up.

Note to self: Don't drink more than you can handle, better yet just quit now.

Sleepless nights

Ever since I had Lasik done to my eyes I can't help but wake up in the middle of the night. How to kill time:
1. Check Email
2. Write to people you care about
3. Listen to music
4. FACEBOOK
5. Just lay in bed close your eyes and count sheeps

Last attempt is being done right now. Goodnight world, until I open my eyes again I hope to give you a great story to read besides my sleepless nights.

You had me..

at "I FOUND YOUR SHOES"

Don't ask question...just go

Dallas had great weather on Saturday, instead of doing my usual cleaning (lounging) at the house I called Lori and Marie to come out and play. We all meet up and visit the museums. As one gallery was more interesting than the other I must add the only good part was when we thought this pink statue was being sold to us for 6.50! yes we misinterpreted it and instead it was for 650. :(
We called Thanh and she wanted to know what we were doing for the night. Although we had no plans of what to do we told her to dress casual. P.s she ditched eating steak with her family to enjoy a night of "what are we going to do" with her friends. LOVE.
We ate at Axium, which one of the girls family owns, may I add was a plus because we got to jump the waiting line for a table. It was a packed house. Literally we couldn't say "dick" quietly enough for the tables not to hear us, then again I didn't try to whisper. Sometimes manners are good for servers. This server called me a liar when I said I have eaten a certain sushi. 1st off don't call me a liar 2ndly I don't know you like that to speak to me in that tone. RUDE.
After dinner we went to pick up Wendy who had previous engagements before our random night. Now that I had all my friends with me it was a night to remember..
Lounge..sexy dance
Sex store..sexy times (more than others)
S4..liberation nation time
I can't really go much into details, but just know that I had a fabulous time with great company. Life couldn't get much better than this...can it?

LipStick Jungle

Hi All,

Dallas was hosting the Allstar Game this year in 2010. Although I was all about it, being broke makes you not want to do anything. Friday we were able to go to Ghost Bar and they had an open bar. Best part OPEN BAR! Not only that, but they were serving chicken wings, sweet potatoes, waffles, and ice cream. Towards the end of the night the Lipstick girls were getting crunk at my place doing the matrix moves and drunk calling.

Saturday...
This night never ever happened.
When I get my pictures back I shall show you a sneak peak of the night. I don't even think its worth writing about.


Due to the cold weather that hit Dallas, TX I was at home all last week. Neglected my gym. I went today and half-ASS-ed my workout. Will attempted to do a better job tonight. I keep thinking to myself You bought that two piece bathing suit...will I be able to fit into it the way I want?

Follow me and find out!

Oh I am back on Facebook due to majority of my friends like to keep in touch through FB. What happen to keeping in touch by phone? Yes i'm old school, so what. If I had a choice I would go back to having a voicemail machine at home. It would be so nice to come home with a voicemail waiting to be heard.

Sad Muscles

Today at the gym a Trainer help me focus on the muscles I have not been working on. So all the times I have been busting up a sweat and thinking I was doing things right...WELL WRONG. I was thankful for his tips, but sad for my effort. You know how i'm training for this 9 miles thing, well I need to work up on my mid area on my body before my leg starts to break on my like it did 2 years ago.

Problem: Core body muscles lack attention
Solution: The foam roller is now my best friend at the gym

About working out early morning...i'm still working on that. Haven't gotten myself to get out of bed til 7:00am. (pssstt...I am suppose to be at the gym by 5:30)

Relationship advice: Don't settle, get what you deserve

I am currently reading Kite Runner. I suck at book reviews, but I tell you what it is a must read this summer.

Oh by the way if you have a farmers market in your city, I think you should shop there and not at the grocery. Their quality is better than your regular WALMART or Krogers.

oh.oh.ohhhhhh....Lady I haven't seen in 4 years asked me Are you still a health nut? What do you think? HELL FUCKING YEAH.

Eat Til I Drop

@ Lift with a few friends

Lately I have been eating out of my character. I need to be an example for my little project i'm working on. Today was suppose to be my start of "Dieting" except I failed. Therefore tomorrow is always another day to start fresh. I won't make that a habit if I don't meet my requirement that day. There should be punishment for not reaching my goal. What should it be? Any suggestions? I decide to join the MUD RUN that is 9 miles which includes obstacle courses. Here is my plans:

1. Work out Before and After work

Thats all I have planned.

My relationship advice: if you are the person that is in the relationship only the people that are involved knows what is happening. You tell people your stories they have their opinions on how things are and it is you to decided if you want to take on their advice. Sometimes the best way to solve a situation in a relationship is the person who is causing you to think or feel the way you do about it. If the other person doesn't listen to you or make an effort...keep in mind it is up to you to keep it going or say goodbye. Venting can only go for so long.

Good luck and I can't wait to watch Valentines Day movie.

EPIC FAIL

I woke up at 12pm today! Normally I would be awake by 10am, this cold weather is making me sleep in more than I need to. Yesterday we celebrated Thanh Tran's 28th birthday at Jaspers and went to Deux afterward. Meet up Han Ho who celebrated Annie's birthday at the same place.

How men fail miserably to catch a girl:

This guy buys my friend a drink and does a little chit chat of getting to know you deal. She tells him that she has a boyfriend and he goes "I'm always here if you want to cheat on him" She says i'm engaged "It is good to be engaged but people always cheat" When the drink comes out he says "now you owe me a blow job"

Wow. I don't think I need to go into detail of why he failed.

Relationship Advisor?

Its only the 7th of January and I have already consumed what I know about dating to a few of my friends. Let me tell you no matter what nationality, gender, or age, its the same all the way around. Depending on the maturity nature of the relationship. I can be great with giving advice, but I have a problem by following them. But Hey, it is a learning curve. If I am going to fail miserably at dating, well then let me do it at my best in order for me to learn. You Live, learn, and pass it forward.

I am officially 26. I just got pass the hump of early twenties and slowly getting to the LATE twenties. Getting older means you friends are tying the knot and having babies. Where did the time go when we were all single and still having fun. As for my friends with boyfriends, their in a honey moon stage. That is as simple as I should put it. My single friends? To be quiet honest I only have one. Her and I will fight the world of dating.

Keep up with me, I'll take you for a joy ride of meeting men.

(You might think I am trying to be a Carrie Bradshaw, but hey I think we all are) Oh one more thing, Can't help it if relationship advice is what I do best. HA!