again...

I prepare the idea and thought, yet something unexpected happens. Always mentally tell myself i'm ready and then something like that happens to me. What the f. BLah.

....

Lately I feel death has come upon me. Maybe it is reading about all these horror stories. But I feel the need to spend some time with my family before my time is up. It could be tomorrow or who knows. I find it sad that some of the family members don't make an effort to try to hang out with their childhood families. It breaks my heart and i'm so tired of caring. Has our lives change this much for family like us to back stab each other and leave us hanging dry. You post shit up saying you know who your true friends are when they stick to the end? Ever think how we stood til the end watching you screw over family and yet act like you did nothing wrong? where has your family value gone?
so fucking unethical. You stand there and act like we are some fucked up people in your life, yet we saved you from your mistakes.

Think twice what you have done, because you hurt me. Do i need to yell out on the top of the lungs to tell you? i think not. I can just watch you from afar and til this day you would have never known. What difference would it have made. Isn't twice the mistake enough of thousands of dollars?

You stand there and act like family fucking matters.

Yea, I count the small stuff.

YEA, i'm fucking dramatic.


deal with it. I'm over our situation and so called family blood line.

Commitment

I went to hot springs this weekend with Nina, Khanh, and Marie. On our way there we saw 3 deers cross our path and a dog. We stayed at the Hot Springs Resort and wow was it such a pleasant place to relax to get away from the city. The next day we rode on horses and enjoyed the downtown area. We tried the Bath Houses which was ancient looking. Literally I felt like a ghost was coming to get me. I don't know why I was thinking that, but I was.

Anyhow...
Lately the question I am coming across everyday from someone is "Do you have a boyfriend?" I have no idea why this is bothering me, but can't a girl love being single? I love my life. I like the fact that I don't have to worry about another person at this time of my life. I'm concentrating on my career and taking care of myself. I want time for me. ME. Me. Me. Oh how I love me.
My friends said its good that I live this life, but one day i'll have to prepare to commit to someone. Although I have been on this path before, but I'm just not ready.
Let me tell you something I have yet to tell anyone. A name will never be mention, so I hope if I read this in the future I will remember whom I am talking about. I know someone that I speak to randomly is the perfect person for me right now. I don't want to take it another step because i'm not ready. I'm taking a step back while he takes many many steps forward.

Ahh...so many things I have to express. I suppose I will continue tomorrow. My right arm is hurting me right now. Til then here are some eye candy.